RainyBrain

Mac/Win, 32/64

Minimum requirements: Lightwave 11, Mac OS 10.7 / Windows 7

RainyBrain LWPlugins 1.0

(includes full source code)

…it’s not the quality of the mesh, it’s the quality of the light.

How does one learn Bullet physics in Lightwave?

Blow up the moon, of course.

So Lightwave finally gets instancing, and what better way to learn how to use instancing than 8 million blades of subsurface-scattered translucent badly-modeled grass?

Okay, let’s get the technical stuff out of the way.

The new high-frame-rate 3D technology is very interesting, but it’s obvious that filmmakers don’t really know how to wield it correctly yet. A lot of shots look like “Actors! In costumes! In a reaaaally fancy A&E historical recreation!”. I think this comes down to the camera language of 2D cinema just not working in high-framerate 3D. You can’t use the same tempo, edits, color grading, angles, and lenses, or even acting styles.

Especially the acting. Turns out, most acting styles don’t work in high-framerate 3D. It just comes across as “an actor saying lines in a funny voice while wearing stuff from the prop department”. I’m guessing it’s because the heightened realism of the visuals demand a far more realistic character representation, and for the most part we don’t get that in The Hobbit.

But some shots… some shots they get it absolutely right and it is amazing. The depth, the tone, the feel of the shot… it really shows you how 3D filmes are capable of going above and beyond regular 2D movies. Sadly, these shots are few and far between.

Amongst all the actors dressed as dwarves and that actor dressed up as Gandalf, there’s Martin Freeman who just is Bilbo. He’s the one actor that comes across as genuinely being his character in every shot he’s in. Take note, directors, that’s the level your actors are going to have to hit if you want your 48fps 3D movies to really work. Martin Freeman is the one  and only consistently-good thing throughout the movie.

Another glaring issue: Peter Jackson is waaay too fond of the swooping-over-several-miles-of-landscape shots that, while annoying in 2D, flat out fail in 3D. The camera-work in these 3D movies needs to be very restrained compared to what you can get away with in their 2D counterparts.

I think when filmmakers figure out the correct language for 48fps 3D movies, we’re going to see, in the words of Doc Emmett Brown, “some serious shit”. It will resurrect the reason to haul our collective asses back to the theater — to experience amazing things we can’t see anywhere else.

But that’s not what I want to talk about. All technology aside,  The Hobbit is a bad film.

Here’s the movie in a nutshell: “Blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah. 10 more minutes of blah blah blah blah voiceover blah blah. HOBBIT DWARF WIZARD LANDSCAPE blah blah back to blah blah blah blah ACTION GOBLINS blah blah snore zzzzzzzz….”

This movie has some of the worst dialog I have ever heard. There’s a scene with Gandalf, Saruman, Galadriel, and Elrond, and this is the dialog:

Gandolf: “I am saying exactly what I am thinking and feeling.”

Elrond: “Well, I’m saying what I’m thinking and feeling.”

Saruman: “Here’s what I’m thinking and feeling. Exactly.”

Galadriel: “I’m not a real character in this movie. I’m just a person saying exactly what I’m thinking and feeling.”

This goes on for a subjective half an hour. I was begging any deities that might exist to please end this movie I can’t take it any more!! These aren’t characters! Peter Jackson, you have failed us! You gave us mouthpieces that just deliver exposition to the audience and it is BORING. Urgh. Meh. Argh.

Except for the Goblin King. He was pretty fun to watch. And Bilbo, of course.

Lastly, there’s what I laughingly refer to as the “musical score”. This isn’t a score. A score is a part of every scene it’s in, enhancing and just generally being a part of the scene. In The Hobbit, we instead get phrases from LOTR  spackled across the visuals with a butterknife. Just… just sorta slathered across the movie. Here’s some high-tempo “action scene” music… here’s some landscape music… here’s some music we play when people are talking… the music, like the dialog, goes “blah blah blah” throughout the entire film.

This movie is a failure on just about every level. And it will be so profitable they’ll most likely just keep cranking out more of the same.

I really hope someone gets it right within my lifetime, because THAT will be a 48fps 3D brainmelting joyful experience. I so very much want that.

I finally upgraded my old clamshell cellphone to a shiny new iPhone. The following ensued:

Siri! Find my socks!

I don’t know who you are.

I… I guess we need to get to know each other a bit better first…

Atlas Shrugged Part I: Ayn Rand beats a dead horse.

Atlas Shrugged Part II: Ayn Rand drives over the mangled corpse of a horse repeatedly with a tank while screaming, “See? SEE??”

Atlas Shrugged Part III: Ayn Rand pulls out the innards of a dead horse with her bare hands, wears the hollowed remains like a cloak, and runs around with the intestines wailing GGROOBLALBOSLASLLGLSOGOG!!! while slapping everybody in sight.

Pocketwizards are the greatest invention since regular-sized wizards.

Because nothing says “manly” like bunny slippers that prey on tigers. Also, they’re comfy!

I’ve just uploaded my first plug-in for Lightwave. Have a look-see.